Learning to Live With Toxic People (Without Losing Yourself)

When I worked in corporate America, I had to learn to be very self-aware. I learned a lot about myself and how to stop, take a moment, and evaluate—then reevaluate. Check twice. You know, measure twice, cut once.

I worked with a few toxic people in those days. I didn’t even realize until much later how bad some of these people were for me to be around. Then there were the manipulators—much more common in corporate America. Everyone was/is “all about me,” but they screamed “team.”

I had a dear friend, and boss, tell me once:“Don’t trust anyone. No one.”

I didn’t really take that to heart—and honestly, I probably should have. People will throw you under the bus so fast you’re gone before you even get the chance to blink.

All of that is water under the bridge now. I have a small circle of close friends and family I trust. It’s a very small circle. And that’s okay.

Everyday Toxic Behavior

Here’s the thing:Who is that person in your life who thinks they know it all?

They believe their opinion is the gospel. They scream their thoughts from the tops of mountains for all to hear—right, wrong, or indifferent. It doesn’t matter to them.

What also doesn’t matter to them? Feelings. Other people’s feelings.

Because in their mind, their opinion is more important than how someone feels. After all, everyone else should live their life the way they believe a life should be lived. Correct?

This is everyday toxic behavior.

And we live with it. Why?

• Because they’re family?
• Because we’re close with them?
• Because they’ll say “Just kidding” or “I was only joking”?

It’s not funny.It’s hurtful.

The World Has Changed — People Have Too

The world is much different than it was in 1975, 1983, 1998, and even 2010.

It’s almost 2026. People are different. They live differently. Some things are better, some things are not. But at the end of the day, it is Their life. Their choice. And Their feelings the “just kidding” person is hurting.

You don’t have to agree with how someone lives to respect that it’s their life to live.

How I Cope With Toxic People

Whether it’s in corporate America or in your personal life, dealing with toxic people can be hard.

Over the years I’ve learned to cope:

• I know it’s not me.
• I walk away when the comments start flying.
• If you ask me why I walked away, I’ll tell you.
• If you don’t ask, I’ll likely stay quiet.

I’m not a huge fan of confrontation—but I will deal with issues when I have to.

I can cut some people out.I can limit contact with others.

My Thoughts on “No Contact” Culture

I am not a fan of the “no contact” culture that’s going on in America these days.

To me, it often feels cowardly and can do more harm than good. I believe those who play that game need to use a mirror and figure out their part in the issue too.

That doesn’t mean you have to tolerate abuse or stay in unsafe situations. But I do believe in at least trying to communicate before you slam the door shut.

(That’s a whole different topic, but it’s part of how I look at this.)

Building Your Coping Toolkit

If you have to deal with toxic people, you need tools—because “just putting up with it” isn’t a strategy.

Some ideas for your coping toolkit:

• Walk away. You’re allowed to excuse yourself, change the subject, or leave the room.
• Write it out. Journal, type, rant on a page you never send. Get the poison out of your head (like this blog post).
• Limit contact. Less time, fewer conversations, and more boundaries. It’s okay to protect your peace.
• Have a safe friend. Someone you can vent to who gets it and doesn’t fan the flames.
• Self-reflect. A lot.
  • What can I control here?
  • How can I react differently?
  • What tools do I have to tolerate or handle this situation?

Self-reflection doesn’t mean you’re to blame. It means you’re taking responsibility for your reactions and your growth.

When It’s Time to Cut Them Out

When all else fails, and the person is just too much, then yes—you cut them out.

But I believe you should at least give them the benefit of a why.

Even if they’re too much to face in person, you can:

• Write a note or letter
• Send a voicemail
• Send a text

Something that says, “Here’s what’s going on for me, and here’s why I’m stepping back.”

Then you block.You stop.You move on.

Be healthy.Be happy.And keep learning, growing, and self-reflecting.

You can’t fix toxic people.But you can protect yourself and decide how you show up in the story.

And for those who disagree with me on this, guess what? it's my life, my feelings, and my story. I'm allowed to have it, feel it, and live it. Move on.